I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I love lists. I just do. I feel so in control when I’ve made a list, whether a grocery list, to-do list, inventory, even a budget (I consider that a type of list).
Last night, as I crawled into bed, I realized my mind was still going a mile a minute, if not more. I was so comfortable, with my personal, portable heater pressed up against my leg (otherwise known as Bruiser), that I thought if I repeated everything to myself enough times, I’d remember it in the morning.
My short term memory has always been horrible. My long term memory is great – I have vivid memories from a camping trip when I was three (confirmed by my mom, who couldn’t believe I remembered those things), but my short term memory has always been horrible. When I was pregnant, I started getting “Pregnancy Brain” and began to write down more things than ever before (for fear of forgetting them). People told me “Mommy Brain” is even worse, but I didn’t believe them.
I believe them now.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my mom, and halfway into it I forgot what the point of my story was. Completely forgot! I think of things to do a lot when I’m driving, and I’ll forget what they were by the time I get home (although I’ve started using a voice recording app on my phone for moments in the car). I had a brilliant idea for a new invention – something that was actually feasible for me to make, and that I think people would actually buy – and I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS!
So, as I lay in my warm bed last night, I realized there was no way I’d remember everything I needed to remember in the morning. I reached an arm out from under the covers and felt around in the dark for a notebook and something to write with. Using only the glare of the TV for light, I wrote my list…two pages worth! There’s no way I would have remembered half of those things today.
Last night, I thought my list looked fairly neat. Today, in natural light, alert and awake (well, awake at least), it’s not so neat. In fact, I had a hard time identifying some of my tasks.
See for yourself:
|Can you decipher the entire list?*|
*One final note - I used to take pride in my handwriting. Now, it's embarrassing. I almost re-wrote the entire list before writing this post, but that takes the fun out of trying to decipher it. I blame carpal tunnel (believe in it or not, but trust me it's real) and writing in the dark.