Monday, January 19, 2009

I can't sleep

I can't sleep. Not only am I not tired, but all these things are floating around in my head, and they're driving me nuts. Grant and Bruiser have been out cold for hours, but when my disc of The West Wing ended and I still wasn't tired, I got up. And I blogged.

I realized that I never publicly stated my resolutions for 2009, nor did I give an update on the 50 books I was going to read in 2008. Well, I haven't made any firm resolutions yet for 2009, and I didn't read 50 books in 2008.

I think I may have come close with the books - but per Emily's rules, you can only count a book once, and I reread a lot of my favorites. Let's just call the book thing 70% complete and we'll move on to 2009.

So - resolutions. I'm tired of the same old resolutions that I (and the rest of the world) make and then forget about as soon as we lose the piece of paper (or in my case, stop rereading the posts on the blog). I feel that this year is all about searching for meaning and purpose in my life, and the same old "I want to lose weight" resolution feels meaningless.

This year, I want my resolutions to mean something. Or at least to be something that I'm likely to do. They don't have to mean something to anyone else, and they certainly don't have to bring purpose to my life, but I'd like to be able to actually cross something off my list this year. So, let's think...

April's 2009 Resolutions (draft in progress)

1. Check my voicemail. I will check my voicemail, both work and personal, each time I get a notification. I will not screen all calls, and I will not let 9 voicemails pile up because I know who the first one is from and I don't want to listen to it.

2. Get rid of crap. I've begun this already, but only in a half-ass manner. I've been trying to buy one nice thing to replace five not so nice things in my house. For example, I bought a set of very nice measuring cups for my kitchen - they were outrageously expensive, but this set will last me my entire life, so there is no need to ever waste money on more. Another side to this is the desire to clean out duplicate items I own, or to get rid of things I haven't used in a year, even if "I might need them someday." I'm working on this part, although I haven't yet been too successful.

3. Stop keeping up with the Joneses. I do not need to have something just because someone else has it. I do okay with some aspects of this - I do not have a Wii, nor a flat screen tv, nor a big fancy SUV. However, I have bought and sold multiple phones, wallets, purses, etc., on eBay and Craigslist. I'll buy one, see that someone has something better/different/intriguiging and I'll have to get one of those to try it out. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I regret it the moment I hit "Buy Now." I need to stop this.

4. Spend more time doing things, instead of buying things. Shopping is currently my only hobby. I used to quilt, and take photographs, and exercise. Now? Nothing. Well, no, I've started cooking and baking again, but that's because I've been shopping for new kitchen things, and then I cook them. I want to make quilts for babies in the hospital, and I want to learn to use Photoshop. I want to learn to garden and become slightly self-sustaining. I don't want to spend every weekend on the hunt for the perfect purse or the latest whatever.

5. Keep up on housework. For awhile, my house was a wreck. This happened to coincide with the black period of my life where I was miserable at work and brought the attitude home with me (see post below), but then it got better. I had a home inspection at my apartment and had to do a massive cleaning in about a week. After that, I've been able to (for the most part), keep the house clean, and even stay on top of laundry, dishes, vacuuming. And you know what? When the house is relatively clean, I enjoy chores. I like the simple domesticity of doing a load of laundry, or vacuuming the living room. And I like just spending time at home when I come home to a clean, organized house. So, I will keep a clean, organized house.

Well, that's it for now. I'm going to add to this as I think of new things. As it is, it's 2:19 in the morning, and I'm going to attempt to go to bed. Apparently, my attempts to lesson my caffeine consumption are working. In my prior life, caffeine didn't affect me; I'd go to bed with a soda and fall right asleep. Today, I had an iced mocha at 4:00 p.m. and the caffeine has kept me awake through the night and into the early morning. I never understood people who said they didn't drink coffee after 3:00. Now I may understand them, but I still can't agree with them. I will, however, order decaf next time.

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